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Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Change the Bill, Fuckers!

Yea, as if anybody reads this shit anyways. I have realized lately that many people make me mad by doing stupid things. Especially companies that overbill because THEY fucked up.

This makes me angry.

above: i was enraged

Here is a company I hate, for example.

But, at least Peter Adderton has been able to line his pockets nicely.
Why, you ask?

Summary: Amp'd Mobile Sucks.
I have a plan. It is a decent plan, as I am not a dipshit cheerleader with a squeaky voice, you T-Mobile commercial bastards.

500 Anytimes Minutes- $30 a month
Unlimited Text Messaging- $10 a month
Unlimited Nights (7PM-7AM)- $7 a month
Getting billed $224.61 because some dipshit employee forgot to add the 250 minutes for two months that he promised you when his "bo dunk piece of shit" company wouldn't allow you to upgrade your plan because it was an incentive for new customers only but you're not considered a new customer because you got your phone 31 days ago and the cutoff is 30 days so now you have to call their incompetent half witted mildly retarded "billing" staff and the thought of being put on hold one more time so they can look up your account information makes you want to puke rat blood all over their computers and all you truly want is for them to take off the stupid fucking calling charges but all they can do is escalate it to the "billing" department- PRICELESS!

Yes, the punchline was a bit long, but it was true, and all for you. I'm considering posting all over the documents that show Amp'd directly "shafting" me. But not in the good way.

What I did-
You all know the routine: if you owe a company money, there is no shortage in their attempts to contact you. They e-mail you, call your house, your cell, e-mail you, homing pidgeons, bricks through your windows, tattoo on your girlfriend's face, hot sauce in your vaseline, soak your toliet paper in acid- the works. But heaven forbid, THEY fuck up. Not on my watch, Amp'd.

So, I called everyday, making sure that each time my claim was "escalated to our billing department."
I "chatted with a customer care agent."
I sent e-mails all day long.
I called CEO Peter Adderton and left a message in his office (believe it or not, he didn't call me back.)

And guess what, kids, Amp'd fixed my bill. Imagine that! The heartless fuckers removed their dildos from every available orifice, and actually fixed my fucking bill. So, now it is only $60. Which is still bullshit. I want this month free. I am in college, and pay for my own bills. Gimme a free month, you fucking rich geek!

Lemme know if I should post all my files, which include hilarious quotes by Amp'd staff like:
"Hi,
> > > Thanks for Contacting Ampd Mobile
> > >
> > > Ok, I've escalated your billing issue to the billing dept. & the
> > > billing dept is going to take a look at your billing issue. The
> > > billing dept will give you a call back when they have gathered
all
> > > information needed about your billing issue.
> > > Please allow 24hrs to 2 days for the billing dept to take a look
> > > into your information
> > > Once again, We would like to Apologize for any inconveniences
this
> > > brings you.
> > >
> > > Have we answered your question? We hope so. If any other
> > > questions come to mind, feel free to email back."

Touche, Amp'd you talk good.

If you hate phone companies, or have a good story about how you owned the shit out of them to change your bill, send me what you got. I'm thinking about making a side page for when people "fight the fight that they know is right" and get positive results. Fuck phone companies!

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