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Thursday, May 05, 2005

Hostage Situation!

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Well, as a senior myself, the sighs of relief are becoming all too frequent. My chest hurts. Graduation around the corner, exams nearing, and a summer that will never be forgotten ringing our door bells, seniors at Ridgeway are finding it hard to say their goodbyes. One such student has taken 26 fellow seniors hostage at a library in Memphis, TN. The water gun armed student has claimed that if they are not all held back another year, he will soak his hostages in a deadly mixture known as (slang term) H20. The student was seen wildly waving his M-16 Water Carbine and a water proof wet suit several hours ago. One hostage was released and immediately blow dried; he splattered her leg brutally, and then threw a water grenade (disguised as a balloon.) He also demanded the City Board dismiss the "ghetto-form," also known as dress code, and that Ridgeway maintains any teacher for more than one year. More on this horrific story next week.
-Frank Duprosti

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