your daily dose of me

By reading this, you are agreeing that this site and it's contents are fictional, and that the true authors cannot be held responsible for any damage caused in any way at any time. These articles and any entries posted on the links under any categories are purely opinion; the naming of any actual people or events are coincidental. Our disclaimer can be viewed here, if you do not read it you are still held to the same terms.

e-mail my ass at this address!

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Russell Crowe- Assault Master!


Russell has done it again. This time, he flung a telephone at a hotel employee for it not working, proving that he does, indeed, suck at life. He has a long history of violent outbursts that cannot be explained, and this time, could face up to 7 years in prison. Hopefully, he will instead receive the electric chair twice and lethal injection, and all of his movies tossed from the shelves and burned, and memory of his existence erased, and anyone named russell exiled, all crows (birds) systematically murdered, and an extensive apology from New Zealand and Australia for ever producing such a flaming lunatic murderer.

linky winkies

Make this your homepage.

Memphis Vs. UT Chatt

The day- September 17th.
The game- 7 o'clock.
The inevitable winners- Memphis Tigers.
Even though we have already told you what will happen, go anyways. Last year's stomping of UT was incredible; I've never laughed so hard at a group of athletes. So show up, tail gate, and be ready to celebrate afterwards.

linky winkies

Make this your homepage.

Monday, September 12, 2005

British Jerk

After recently visiting a person site created by a random British citizen, the Tuesday Times staff sent the creator an e-mail scolding his mockery of Americans. His response-

hello fat boy.

unlike you attempt at humour (tuesdaytimes) the site in which you refer has not been updated for at least 5 years. Whats your excuse? As for me being a fa**** you should just ask ya mum and she will put you straight, while you're at it ask her if she found my watch...
heres one for your blog; 5 men in Purple Dinner jackets & bow ties were found floating under a pier in New Orleans today...D.N.A Tests have revealed they were indeed the DRIFTERS.
you are probably just angry with yourself for desiring me and are confused with your homosexual tendancies. As for you beating my "a**" you gays can't stop thinking about "a**" can you. You would also loose and end up on your "a**" with a dirty sanchez while i make you smell my finger (ya mum).
so stop bothering me you fat little chimp and get back to looting walmart.

The only edits in the previous letter were the asteriks. This was a real letter sent from a man in the U.K. Tuesday Times replied with an graphicly worded, heated response. More on this jerk to come.

His e-mail address is
, please feel free to send him a barrage of hateful mail.

linky winkies

Make this your homepage.

Sunday, September 11, 2005

U of Memphis...Ridgeway Repeat?

As many of you University of Memphis students hainling from Ridgeway may have already noticed, college=Ridgeway with less in class time. They are the same thing. Just less class. Walking by the UC, one is forced to think, "What the hell?" What are all of those students doing? Is it really possible that two or three hundred students at any given time of the day have time to spend blocking the stairway and talking?

Tuesday Times interviewed one of these students.

TT: What exactly are you doing here?
Idiot Student: Well man I'm just chillin'. I ain't got no class till Thursday, so I'm just chillin'.
TT:But today is have no class until Thursday?
Idiot Student: Well my mama told me to take it easy this semester, so I'm only takin' 3 hours, plus it just makes sense for us to block the stairway for when people like you walk by.
TT: I see, I see. And where did you attend High School?
Idiot Student: Ridgeway.
TT: Ah. Thank you for sucking you bastard.
Idiot Student: No problem dawg man dawg.

In conclusion, life sucks. Thanks.

linky winkies

Make this your homepage.

Tuesday Times to be Resurrected!

Well, the one man staff of Tuesday Times has made a decision, and has decided to pick up the reins and go full speed ahead. New plans for the site includes partnerships will several user sites, Nerport Poetry, Inc., and a Tuesday Times Media Corner. Check out the Nerport Poetry, leave comments. Check out the media corner that features local bands (this is just to get it started, give me some f*&^%$ time here.) Just check all of it out. Tuesday Times is back in action. Also, don't forget to check out our sponsoring links.

linky winkies

Make this your homepage.